Gay Perverted Ladies
by XShiori-chanX
Summary: Bath houses were awkward enough; But that creepy old lady in the corner is giving me the chills. -based on a true story-


_**Gay Perverted Ladies**_

I am absolutely positive. Bath houses were the most awkward places in the world.

_Seriously_. How did Naminé and Kairi stand it? They acted so naturally, like nothing was out of the ordinary. They would waltz right in, slip their shoes in a little box, and pay Roxas - his parents owned the place and forced him to work - the money. I would always follow after, at a slower pace. Once in the room, the twins would just choose a random cubby and start _stripping_. First socks, then shirt, pants, bra, underwear. And through the whole process, they'd still be gossiping to each other! Do they not see the creepy old ladies hovering around in the room, watching the small TV in the corner? Or those little five year old kids running around butt naked, throwing towels at each other? How was this _normal? _Today, they're dragging me to Roxas's bath house for a nice night of _relaxing_.

Bullshit, in my eyes.

"Did you see the look on his face?" Kairi chirped from my right, nudging me in the ribs. I smiled painfully.

"Honestly, Kairi. I don't know what you see in Sora. He's a total airhead," I said, trying to push my upcoming doom away from my mind. Naminé stepped ahead and turned around so she was facing us.

"You only say that because he's your brother. Sora's not that bad, you know," she quipped, her bag smacking against her ankles.

"Hush up, Nami, or Roxas will get jealous," Kairi sniped. We both laughed as Naminé blushed.

"I don't like him, alright?" she cried in exasperation. Kairi rolled her eyes and gave me a playful look. I smiled.

"Sure you don't. That's why you stutter whenever we talk to him, trip whenever he passes by, blush when we mention his name-" I began as we closed in on the bath house of doom, and Naminé lunged forward and clamped a hand over my mouth.

"Shh! He'll hear you!" she whisper hissed. Kairi snorted.

"You just proved to us right there that you like him," she said, pushing the fabric - which was swaying in the breeze in the doorway - aside and slipping her shoes off. Naminé and I mimicked her and placed them in separate cubbies, taking the keys.

"Like who?" Roxas called from behind the counter as we approached, sliding his glasses off and throwing his book aside. Naminé blushed again while Kairi and I guffawed.

"N-n-no o-o-one!" she shrieked, bowing and slamming five dollars on the counter. Kairi shoved her fist into her mouth to keep from exploding.

"Do me a favor, oh best friend of mine, and ask that _special someone _you keep talking about out on a date," I whispered to him, handing him his five and winking. Kairi did the same, trying to stop her laughter as Roxas turned red.

Naminé was waiting, hiding behind a fake-decoration tree. As we rounded the corner she stepped out.

"Did he say anything?" she asked hopefully. Kairi burst out into another fit of giggles and wrapped her sister in a hug. I just shook my head.

"You are so cute, Nami!" Kairi cooed, rubbing Namine's head and ruffling her blonde hair. Naminé pouted and chased after Kairi, who had twirled over to a cubby and put her bag inside. Sighing, with no other choice, I did the same.

"Kairi, it's not funny! I bet he called me a weirdo."

"Why do you care, Naminé? You don't like him, remember?" Kairi countered. Naminé blushed.

"I-I don't!"

"Sure."

"Honestly!"

"Liar!"

"Guys, you're doing it again."

Kairi and Naminé Fujioka were twins, with Kairi being half an hour older. The two never seemed to truly stop arguing with each other, whether playful or otherwise; it was a twin thing to have fights every other second. Sometimes, if the subject was touchy, they would start shouting at each other, without a care who heard. It was I who always seemed to be caught in the middle, tearing them apart.

Both of them smiled sheepishly. An old woman passed by with a scornful glare; they were 'disrupting the peace'.

Tch. Whatever.

"Sorry," they mumbled together, bowing their heads in shame. I grabbed my towel and shoved my bag inside a cubby. Naminé retrieved a basket filled with shampoo, conditioner, and body wash, setting them on a nearby sofa.

Let the stripping begin.

It's so awkward just randomly taking your shirt off in a public area. Nam and Kai just ripping it off without a second thought and shoved them inside their cubbies. I looked around, my gaze lingering on the lady in the corner with the long red hair who was staring at me in a mirror; she just walked in. This is _so _awkward…

Once the three of us were stark naked and wrapped up in towels, we went into the actual bathing area. I felt like I was being raped with eyes when I noticed that the red-headed lady followed me in. Quickening my pace, I dashed ahead of Kairi and Naminé and chose the shower farthest away from the red head, who sat closest to the door. My friends laughed.

"Why so jumpy, Xion?" Kairi piped, taking the spot next to me and unwrapping her towel. Naminé passed the soap.

In the steamy room were about three other people I recognized from school; Olette, Naminé's best friend, Selphie, Kairi's best friend, and Aqua, my math tutor. They, like Kairi and Naminé, didn't mind the creepy red-headed lady - who continuously washed only her shoulder and had refused to remove her towel - who sat and stared at everyone around. I shrunk in my seat and was thankful for the aisle of showers standing between us.

"DAMMIT, TERRA!" a voice echoed, and we instantly recognized Roxas's twin brother, Ven. Aqua snorted from her spot in the bath tub, shaking her head in disdain. Kairi and I giggled. The boy's bath was on the other side of a tall wall; they couldn't climb it to look over, so I knew I was safe from _male_ eyes. Instantly, my gaze twitched back to the red head. She was still washing her shoulder; did she have a rash or something?

Once the three of us were squeaky clean, (the water felt good after a long day) we grabbed our towels and hurried to the hottest tub of water, sinking in. It felt heavenly; and the water provided some kind of coverage I was in desperate need for.

"What do you think Terra did?" Naminé asked in a quiet voice, tying her hair up. I shrugged.

"Probably tried to drown the poor boy," Aqua piped from the cooler bath. She placed a towel over her eyes and leant back, relaxing. Kairi chuckled and waded over to the jet massage.

"Hey, Nam. You never truthfully answered my question," she chirped. Naminé cocked her head in an innocent manner.

"What question?"

Kairi and I exchanged looks. "Roxas," I elaborated.

Naminé visually paled, hoping to avoid this subject of conversation. "What about him?" she mumbled.

"You like him," Kairi shot.

"Do not."

"That's bull."

"Xion, what are you staring at?"

I snapped back into the conversation when Naminé nudged me with her toe. The twins followed my gaze to the red headed woman who was still scrubbing her one shoulder.

"Hey, Kai, we finally found another red head for you," Naminé joked. Kairi's eyes narrowed in on the woman.

"Why is she washing just her shoulder? Why doesn't she take off her towel?" she voiced. I shrugged.

"I'm not sure, but she's been scrubbing that shoulder for ten minutes." I frowned. The three of us stared a the creepy lady for maybe five more minutes, and she continued to rub her shoulder. We came to the conclusion that she had either a terrible rash or an obsessive compulsive disorder.

"Naminé, I'm not going to let your Roxas ordeal go, you know. Just admit that you like him!" Kairi demanded after a moment of silence. Naminé vehemently shook her head.

"I don't!"

"Please, Nami. That's like me saying that I completely despise Riku, and he's my boyfriend," I shot. She gave me an irritated look.

"Stop ganging up on me! Fine, I like him, alright?" she growled, sinking down in the water so only her eyes were showing. She glared coldly as Kairi and I chuckled.

"Oh, by the way? Your first child will be named after me."

"Why would I name my first child Xion?" she asked, popping up.

"You'll see," I said, smirking. Namine's eyes narrowed as she sunk back into the water.

"And you. You should seriously talk to Sora more often. I swear he likes you," I directed at Kairi, who blushed.

"No he doesn't-"

"STOP IT, RIKU! I'M NOT GONNA HAVE SEX WITH KAIRI!" the devil spoke from over the wall. Naminé and I burst out into uncontrollable laughter as Kairi paled. We heard a hard smack and another echoing 'ouch!'.

"I'm going to kill him," Kairi declared, her face reddening in anger and embarrassment. After choking on some water, I regained composure.

"Thanks for the help, Riku!" I shouted. Sometimes, the two of us really had some sort of telepathy.

"No prob, babe!" he shouted back, and I laughed when I heard the squeak come from Sora.

"Hey, Xi? Is…K-K…"

"Yeah, Kai's here," Kairi screeched. Naminé and Aqua giggled into their hands as Ven and Terra shouted '_you're so dead'_.

"Sora, honey? I'd like to see you outside in two minutes," Kairi hissed, stepping out of the tub and wrapping a towel around her body. Naminé and I exchanged looks and followed suit.

Sora sighed. "Yes, Kai."

"Bye, Lette, Selph, Aqua," Naminé bid cheerfully. The three girls waved back.

As I looked forward, I realized that the red headed lady was still there, still washing her shoulder. I stopped Naminé and Kairi and pointed her out.

"Ok, it's been half an hour. She can't seriously have that bad of a rash," Kairi whispered, tightening her towel around her torso. Naminé pulled her hair out of its ponytail.

"Do you think she's sleep bathing or something?" she mumbled. I shook my head.

"I don't think that's possible, Nami."

By this time, our small trio was gathering attention by our friends, who also seemed to have noticed the very creepy never-before-seen red head. Aqua and Selphie leaned on the edge of the tub, listening. Olette mimicked us and securely wrapped a towel around her body as she walked by. "What's wrong?" Selphie hissed.

"Something's fishy about her," Kairi mumbled back, jerking a finger a the topic of conversation. "I'm going to investigate."

The five of us watched Kairi walk forward towards the creepy, who continued to scrub her shoulder like nothing was out of the ordinary. Silently, Kairi crouched down behind the lady, looked into the mirror-

And screamed.

Girls have some sort of communication ability when they're screaming. That one, shrill shriek that emitted from Kairi's throat set off a chain reaction, causing all of us to tighten out grips on our towels and sprint out. That one terrifying scream caused all of us to scream as well. That one scream basically said 'there's a boy in here.'

All six of us herded into the lobby and began pulling our clothes on at top-notch speeds. The red headed lady- I'm sorry, _man_, hurried after us, trying to calm us all down. Lets just say he had many things thrown in his direction.

Naminé, only dressed in her bra and her towel wrapped around her waist, couldn't take it. Fuming with anger, she marched over to the front desk. Kairi and I followed, both of us with our shirt's around out necks and our towels still wrapped tightly around our bodies.

It figured. Roxas wasn't there; a sign was put on the counter that said 'Sorry, we're closed'. the red-head must have snuck in after he left.

Naminé was livid. She threw the sign across the room and jumped over the desk. "ROXAS!"

Said boy came running out from the door behind his work space, carrying a baseball bat in his hands. He took one look at the wet, bra-and-towel clad Naminé and gaped; if the situation wasn't so terrible, Kairi and I would have snickered. The boy was practically drooling.

"You are _so_ dead," Naminé hissed, her fists clenching. Roxas seemed to notice the blonde's anger and dropped the baseball bat.

"What's wrong?"

Instead of explaining, Naminé grabbed him by the collar of his shirt with extreme force and dragged him into the girl's side lobby. I quickly followed.

Aqua, Selphie, and Olette - now fully clothed - were interrogating the red-headed male. When the door slid aside and Naminé entered, they moved away.

"Explain this!" she hissed, throwing Roxas at the feet of the imposter. He looked up at his face at the same time I did; both of our jaws dropped.

"_Axel?"_

It was known that Axel Hinamori was gay. Strictly speaking, gay for his best friend. Which was Roxas. The two of them looked around that, however; Roxas, who was creeped out beyond belief, still wanted his best friend to be around. Axel, who was happy with at least a friendship, ignored his feelings and stuck by his best buddy. The two of them were two peas in a pod; and then I showed up, and we became three.

"What are you _doing?" _Roxas demanded, getting to his feet. The boys from the other side rushed over to investigate, (thankfully) fully dressed. They gaped at Axel like he was mad.

"I'm gay! I can't take bath with _them_," he explained, jerking a thumb at the boys who had entered the room. They twitched uncomfortably, rushing in to stand by their respective girlfriend. Riku came to my side, placing a protective arm around my waist. Ven put a hand on Namine's shoulder and told her to relax.

"Exactly! You're gay! That means _stay home and bathe! _You idiot, you're not a girl!" she shrieked. Axel shrunk slightly.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. Scoffing, Aqua, Terra, Olette, and her boyfriend Hayner exited. Selphie followed suit.

"Axel, honestly. I thought you were smarter than this," I sighed. He looked at me with a guilty expression.

"Sorry, Xi-Xi. I didn't mean any harm, honestly," he cried. Naminé's eye twitched as she grabbed Axel, Ven, Riku, and Roxas - along with Sora, who was hovering by Kairi - by the collar are threw them out. She dressed in silence and waited for us to come with her.

At the front desk, Roxas was sending apology after apology in Naminé's direction. He started explaining that his shift was over, and that he was tired, so he went to go sleep in the back room, and blah, blah, blah. Naminé forgave him, saying that it was not his fault, but she didn't look pleased. She was still fuming angrily as she grabbed her shoes and walked away with Kairi, Sora and Roxas following close behind. Riku bid me farewell and followed, chuckling as Roxas continued to apologize, most likely further antagonizing the poor blonde. Sora sent me a depressing wave and asked me to tell mom that he was at Kairi's.

Which leaves me with Axel.

"What were you thinking, exactly?" I asked as we set off in the opposite direction. He shrugged and grinned deviously.

"Well, I just wanted to take a bath in the public bath house," he said matter-of-factly. The glint in his eyes said otherwise.

"No, seriously," I pushed.

"Seriously? Well, I wanted to see some tits."

"…What?"

"Xion, can I tell you a secret?" he asked, his smirk widening.

"Um…sure?" I answered, _unsure_ of what was coming for me. It was so random; why would he tell me a secret?

"I'm not actually gay."

Whoa. Then that means…today…he…

"You're joking." I managed to choke out, my throat tightening on the words as I started seeing red.

"Nope. I'm straighter than a ruler."

Axel was a dead man.

* * *

**I AM SO INCREDIBLY SORRY! SO VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY,VERY SORRY! I have a resonable excuse; I'm in Japan. seriously. I'm visiting family and training with the Japanese gymnastics team in hopes to make the olympic qualifier (trust me, not happening) and I haven't had alot of time. My family is literally everywhere; I've been walking so freaking much. -.- **

**I promise you, I've been working on Cheesecake in my spare time. Swear on my life. **

**Has anyone ever been to Japan before? if not, you wouldn't have ever been in a public bathhouse. AWKWARD. I only speak Japanese when spoken to, so I always talk in english to my mother; the creepy old ladies give me weird looks and they kind of...check me out. XD it's so freaking awful!**

**BTW, this is base on a true story. no joke. it didn't happen to me, (thank god) but it was news on TV and I instantly thought of Axel. XD**


End file.
